... But I Don't Know What to Say!?!

One of the toughest things about being a believer committed to serving the needs of others is knowing what to do or say when a friend is going through a difficult time. Outside of our families, most of our relationships are forged around the best foot. We get to know people on their terms, as they want us to see them, and that is with their best foot forward. So when the storms of life and death are raging, we aren't sure how to relate.

We want to help, but we don't know what to say. We lack confidence in our ability to be a friend and, in the end, we actually fear making things worse for the one who is hurting -- like Job's friends did.

After losing all ten of his children and his good health, Job needed to get some things off of his chest. Faced with the fact that they could do nothing to relieve Job, his friends got angry at him. Since they couldn't explain what was happening to him, they told him it was his fault. They informed him that if he had been righteous this never would have happened. In their anger, they said Job actually was getting what he deserved.

What in the world were they thinking? Why did they feel like they had to explain what was happening? Why couldn't they just listen in silence?

Two things are going on here.

First, they got angry at themselves and took it out on Job. They were angry that they couldn't relieve Job's pain. Friends feel the need to fix things. When questions need to be answered, we want to provide the answers. When there is pain, we want to soothe it. They went there hoping to help but ultimately couldn't. They were frustrated and angry and their response to their own failure multiplied Job's pain.

The second thing that was going on here was that Job's friends were trying to fill a role that was not theirs to fill. In their desire to make things better, they took on God's job, attempting to answer questions that they mistakenly thought needed to be answered. But they misread the need. Job's cries and questions may have been expressed to them, but they were directed to God. So they applied the Band-Aid of bumper sticker theology, thinking that saying the right thing would make it all better. But it didn't because it can't. Knowing what caused a storm doesn't diminsh its damage.

In Job 16, he finally tells his friends that he has had enough of thier heartless babble. They had neither provided comfort nor answered his questions. They missed it altogether!

He didn't need them to play God and provide answers. They didn't have to be theologians and psychologists. He just needed them to be there and provide support. He needed them to listen without responding, to help him secure the daily bread that would sustain him in his time of grief.

And that is exactly what our friends need. When we have friends going through the storms of life we must commit to be there. Then we go, not trying to take the pain away committed to doing our part to relieve the pressure that accompanies the pain. And when we don't know what to say, we choose not to say anything at all. Our presence in a storm answers the one question that must be answered: Does anyone care?

Presumption of Ease

For those of you who don't really know me, I am not one of those people who is "just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

You know that person right? As soon as something good happens they begin making plans for some negative force to come and steal their candy. I had a pastor friend tell me about a very generous love offering his church gave him on his first anniversary. When I congratulated him, he told me he was "just waiting for the other shoe to drop," and even suggested that his transmission would soon go out in his van. How sad is that? In my opinion, dodging falling shoes is no way to live -- and I don't.

But I'm not one of those "name-it-and-claim-it" people either. I assume you know that group. They believe that if you claim something in JeEEesus name, then it's yours. You merely have to have and maintain the right kind of faith-speak. By faith, you speak your preferred future and you hang on, faithfully speaking it into existence until it comes to pass.

For example, "I'm believing for a new F-150, extended cab with glass packs and a lift kit." I don't even know if such a vehicle exists, but if you want it bad enough and you unleash your faith on it, you can go ahead and make space in your front yard to park it -- it's yours! I could go on and on with the absurdity of this philosophy, but suffice it to say that if your faith system depends on capitalism and a free market economy, then it is at best flawed. The faith that I find presented in the Bible is good whether you live in China or Clearwater.

So what lens am I looking through? My philosophy, for the most part, can be described as a presumption of ease. What does that mean? In my day-to-day affairs I believe that things will come off without a hitch, just as planned. Simply put, I expect things to go my way.

I realized this was one of my core presumptions this past week when life took an unexpected turn. Nikki and I were looking forward to spending a couple of days with two of our closest friends from Oklahoma, the Odoms. They were arriving in Tampa on Tuesday afternoon and then leaving again early Thursday morning. So we planned for a great couple of days. The boys were fired up! It was going to be the best .... What could go wrong? Well, let me tell you ....

Early Tuesday morning at about 3 a.m. I heard the unmistakable sound of sickness, not once but twice! Within 2 minutes of each other, both Landry and Wil had gotten sick. I'm not sure that I will ever forget the questions Nikki asked the moment we realized what was happening, just before we sprung into action: "Can you believe this? What are we going to do with the Odoms?"

The truth is I couldn't believe it. I had not even considered this a possibility. Remember, I live with a presumption of ease. Things like this aren't supposed to happen to me and my family.

Where do I get that idea? Is it a sense of entitlement? I hope not. But in reality, the presumption of anything before God, be it falling shoes, F-150’s, or a life of ease is erroneous. Presuming upon God is elevating our expectations to the place of sovereignty. Our presumption limits God. Then when He blows through our presumptive boundaries, our foundations are shaken and in some cases they crumble.

Job’s three friends lived with a presumption of God. They presumed a quid pro quo reality whereby people get back what they are giving out. If you were good, you received good things. If you were bad, then you would receive bad things.

Bildad epitomizes this philosophy when he says, “Does God pervert justice? Does the Almighty pervert what is right? When your children sinned against him, he gave them over to the penalty of their sin. But if you will look to God and plead with the Almighty, if you are pure and upright, even now he will rouse himself on your behalf and restore you to your rightful place .... Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evildoers." (Job 8:3-6, 20)

While there is a law of sowing and reaping, you have to allow space in time for good things to happen to bad people, and bad things to good people. God’s primary concern for us is not what happens to us, but what happens in us. He uses the good and the bad to mold us into the men and women he wants us to be. God can and will use everything to teach us, including the unexpected.

So what did I learn when my week didn’t go as I presumed it would? As my preaching professor used to say, “Don’t never assume nothin'!” Instead, “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Uncovered

One of the things that I have been taught, whether intentionally or unintentionally, is that there is a formula or a combination that unlocks the door to life preferred. When there is a dream that I want to see come true, this teaching says all I have to do is figure out the formula, develop a plan of implementation, work the plan and the plan will work. This concept seems to be rooted in the idea that God is faithful to the faithful. But when I stop to consider his servant Job, the whole notion collapses like a house of cards.

I'm sure you know the story: Job was a really good guy. God called him "blameless and upright." He was a man who understood how to apply the fear of God in his everyday life. This was no more evident than in the way that he served his family as priest. Chapter 1 tells us Job's seven sons took turns holding huge parties. All the kids got together for extended periods of eating and drinking. When the parties were over Job would say to himself, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." So early in the morning, Job would sacrifice a burnt offering for each one of them, purifying them before the Lord. The scripture says, "This was Job's regular custom."

If there was a formula for protecting children, Job was working it faithfully. He did everything he could to ensure that they were in God's protective hands. It's safe to say that Job did his part to see that his kids were covered.

Then one day God uncovered them. He lifted the hedge of protection off of Job's wealth and his family. The chilling report came to Job from a servant who was on the scene: "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!" Job 1:18-19

How did this happen? There is no indication in scripture that Job skipped a day of sacrifice. As a matter of fact, the writer takes great pains to say Job feared God so much that he wouldn't miss an opportunity to serve as priest for his family. Job had done everything he could to cover his children, but they were uncovered.

In our context today, we would have to draw one of two conclusions: Either God failed or the formula failed. IT WASN'T GOD! Job's formula failed. He worked his plan faithfully and the plan didn't work. Why?

It's not about us! God's blessing is dependent upon God's grace, not our performance. If we only experienced the blessing of God when we were getting things right then it would be a payment earned, not a blessing received. Payments are tied to performance.

Am I doing enough to be blessed? Am I praying enough? Am I giving enough? Have I read my Bible enough? Those questions put all the focus on us, and take it off of God who wants our undivided attention. God wants us to focus more on Him than our performance.

Paul confronted the Galatians about this very thing saying, "Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?" You began in grace, proceed in grace!

I think we know this is true: God blesses according to His grace and plan--not our performance. The hard part is to acknowledge the caveat to be true as well. I have a hard time writing this, but we have to say that in His wisdom, goodness, mercy and justice God also witholds blessings. As Job put it, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away." There is no way around it. For reasons that we still don't understand, Job's kids were uncovered.

The good news and the bad news is this: God can bless us and use us at our best and our worst--a truth that is both liberating and terrifying.

So how do we respond? In all of our decisions, we follow His lead as spelled out in scripture. Our obedience will place us in a BLESSABLE POSITION. Having done our part, we then trust God with the rest.

Jackpot Jesus

Job is perhaps one of the most fascinating and challenging books in the Bible. To me, the difficulty lies in the fact that God does not offer easily accessed commentary on the philosophies presented by Job's so-called friends. Until the end of the book, we really don't know where God stands on their insensitive humanistic observations and even then we are left wanting, hoping that he would pick them apart one pitifully obtuse point at a time.

However, one thing we do understand from the very beginning is what God and Satan both think about Job. God thinks that Job is special. Indeed he says there is no one like him on the face of the earth, calling him a servant who is "blameless and upright"--pretty high praise from His Holiness.

Satan, on the other hand, is not drinking the Kool-Aid on Job. His belief is that anyone who hit the jackpot with God would be loyal. So he challenged God: "Does Job fear God for nothing?" In other words, anybody would do what Job was doing if they were getting paid. Everyone has their price and, by meeting his price, God ensured that Job would be on his best behavior. Satan hypothesized that if God stopped paying him, Job would go the way of the rest of creation, becoming a self-absorbed malcontent.

What about you?

Do you worship Jackpot Jesus? If things in your world went sour, would you sour on God?

What are we doing here?

I probably should have explained this before we got started, but I think you need to know what my goal is through The Connecting Point. It is to blog through the entire Bible. Our core conviction here at Skycrest is that the Bible contains the life transforming message of God. Therefore, we should read and heed its message. Each week I hope to write about some of the things that God is teaching me as I read through the Bible.

Early in my committed journey, I read a forgettable book that presented an unforgettable scenario.

The author led the reader to imagine their first discussion with God after moving on to heaven. I think the scene was a walk with God on the beach. In this discussion God asks the question, "What did you think about my book?" We are led through a compendium of possible responses ...

1. It was always with me--in the back of my car
2. It provided good decoration for my coffee table
3. I enjoyed the stories in Sunday School
4. The red writing was riveting
5. My mom sure seemed to enjoy it and get something out of it

I think the writer led God's discussion companion to go with, "I loved to hear and read about it from great teachers." God pointedly responds, "I want to know what you thought of it. I wrote it to you. Did you read it all the way through?"

At the time I read that book, my honest answer was no. I had not really read the Bible from cover to cover. I believed that it presented God's truth and wisdom. I believed to the core of my being, that as God's Word, it would be a dependable guide for the kind of life I desperately wanted to live. But the truth was, regardless of what I believed, I had not read His Word to me. So I resolved to read the Bible all the way through.

I chose to follow the plan laid out in the Ryrie Study Bible. It is basically a chronological journey through the Bible that puts events together. For example, when you read about Jesus feeding the 5,000, you read all four corresponding accounts on the same day. So with this plan, you don't read straight through from Genesis to Revelation, you jump around, generally reading the story of God as it occurred in real time.

As I blog through the Bible, I am using this same plan. So if you are following closely and you wonder why I jump from Genesis to Job, that's the reason.

I am already behind on getting through it in a year, but that is not the most important thing. What really matters is that when you read scripture you slow down long enough to hear from God. Life is not a series of to-do lists for God, it is a journey with God.

Tomorrow I hope to begin writing about God's servant Job. I have to admit that Job is one of the books that gives me fits. Not a lot of confidence going in, but a whole lot of dependence upon God for understanding. So I think it is safe to say that I am right where I need to be.

Question for you: Are you prepared for that walk on the beach with God? What would you say to him about his book?

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:1-3