The Prayer of Examen

Blah Humbug: Renewing Your Spiritual Passion, is the name of the study we are in at Skycrest. The genesis of the series comes from the recognition that we are all of us prone to drifting away from an impassioned faith. While all followers have designs on a vibrant walk with Jesus, few sustain the passion necessary to completely die to self and live for Christ. The hope for the series is to identify some critical disciplines that should reinvigorate our passion.

Yesterday we examined what Gordon MacDonald calls the remembrance principle. Activating this principle is a key to inflaming spiritual passion because remembering well keeps us grounded in the truth of God's unchanging work on our behalf. When we fail to remember the steadfast truth of God, we invite our fickle, ever-changing circumstances to guide our decision making.

To help us establish a routine of remembrance, God established the Sabbath day, exhorting us to keep it holy or make it different. The idea is that as we rest from our work, we should reflect on and celebrate the good work of God. The fruit of this exercise is increased faith and confidence in the way of God, accompanied by a renewed determination to live for him.

What I've discovered along the way is that I not only need to observe the Sabbath weekly, I need to practice Sabbath moments daily. I have to carve out times in my day where I remember that God is for me. I need to discipline myself to consider the omnipresence of God so I can submit to and enjoy the power of God.

In researching ways to establish the discipline of daily Sabbath moments, I discovered the Prayer of Examen. In the first half of the 16th century, Saint Ignatius of Loyola, taught his disciples to conclude their day with what he called the Prayer of Examen. It's a prayer of examination whereby you recall the events and activities of your day and through the process of remembering, evaluate your relational harmony to God.

St. Ignatius' idea was that participants would take time each night to work through the exercises in an attempt to learn to better facilitate the presence of God in their lives. While there are many renditions of the prayer, we tailored it to present three basic steps to achieve the daily Sabbath discipline:

1. Confess your place in God. Utilize Psalm 103:1-5 to recount the benefits of being a child of God. As you read through those verses, pause to celebrate the goodness of God and acknowledge your need for God.
2. Ask yourself two sets of questions:
   a. Where did I feel the most alive, most hopeful, most in the presence of God today?
   b. Where did I feel the darkest, most despairing, most removed from God today?
3. Celebrate the mercies of God that are new every morning. Ask for strength and guidance to continually live in the presence of God tomorrow.

All three steps need to be followed to stay anchored in truth and impassioned for God. We have to remember what he did for us. We must be able to identify those times and places when we sensed his presence or even realized our distance. Noting the reasons for each will enable us to more consistently place ourselves in blessable positions. Finally when we fail, we must remember that according to God's grace and mercy, every new day gives us the opportunity to follow him.

Will you join me for the next week in daily praying the Prayer of Examen? I pray as you discipline yourself to enjoy a daily Sabbath, your passion will be renewed like the eagle's.

Can I Change the Past?

It is a beautiful Thanksgiving morning. I am sitting on the porch of a condo in St. Augustine watching the waves roll in and reading a book that reminds me that I can't change the past. Believe me when I say there are some parts of the past I would change if I could. Some of the closets that I mindlessly frequent have skeletons that pop up and scare me to shame.

As I ponder the possibility of an altered past, it occurs to me that there are other scenes from days gone by that I play over and over again that I would not alter. There are good days, God-centered days that remind me of the possibilities of life with God. Those are the regret free days for which I am offering thanks today.

In the midst of these musings a thought occurs to me: you can change the past if you live for God in the present because TODAY IS TOMORROW'S YESTERDAY.

Happy thanks living!

Our Faith Story in Song

Last Monday I started studying the Song of Ascent Psalms. These are Psalms 120-134. They were sung as pilgrims journeyed to Jerusalem for festivals. I didn't get very far because I got stuck on Psalm 126. It was like reading a very cryptic biography of my life. I'm still stuck. Like the weather, I have been thinking about it off and on since. Here's what it says.

Psalm 126
1When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. 2 Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." 3 The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.

4 Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like streams in the Negev. 5 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. 6 He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

When we experience God we are living the dream. Giddy with excitement about stepping into His story, we are morphed into a fountain of praise to God. The sheer force of our exuberance moves mountains of doubt in those around us and causes even the most skeptical to note the work and blessing of God in our lives.

But after the victory parade we move into our next assignment. It's another faith challenge that is likely greater than the one before. Why? Because when we persevere in the little assignments, God gives us greater more demanding assignments--heavier lifting required.

Our fortunes seem to turn and the streams of abundance dry up and are replaced by a steady stream of tears. The presence of tears can trigger the loss of heart which always ends in a wandering from purpose and could lead to a failure to complete the assignment.

But this is not true for those who obediently push through in faith. They go out weeping but they still go, and they are carrying their seed. The impetus to carry on comes from the lessons learned while living the dream. Sowing in tears ends with reaping in joy and a bountiful harvest for those who persevere in faith.

I think this has been the story of my past, and I pray it will be the story of my future. What about you?

In Keeping with Repentance

I really appreciate Parker Palmer's book, Let Your Life Speak. One of the book's big ideas is this: if you will listen carefully to what you have to say, you might actually learn something. His theory is that we learn valuable lessons in life that go unnoticed. But when tested by our circumstances and challenged in our conversations, these lessons are revealed as we articulate positions and values influenced by our experiences.

As a teacher who is entrusted with--and hopefully empowered for--the sacred chore of exposing the life changing truth of God's love, there are times I find myself listening with interest to what I am saying. There are segments of some talks that are completely unplanned and I choose to trust that the tangent is providing exactly what someone in the room needs to hear from God. At times those detours are for other people and at times they are for me.

This past week I found myself traveling down one of those roads less traveled that I think was for me. I can't get it out of my mind. The topic was repentance and I kept quoting John the Baptist from Matthew 3:8, "Produce fruit in keeping with repentance." The surprise element that was occurring to me as I verbally processed this truth was the "keeping" portion of the command. I had never consciously thought about keeping with repentance.

In my mind I had relegated repentance to what happened on our own personal road to Damascus. We see the bright light of God's truth and we place our faith in Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins and the eternal justification our souls. It's the one-time turnaround from the broad road whose destiny is destruction, and the subsequent repositioning of our lives on the narrow road which leads to life. Most of my conscious thinking in regards to repentance has been this once-in-a-lifetime turn to the truth of God's love, grace, and mercy.

However, John's teaching at this point is clearly about the repentance of sanctification, not justification. There are times in our lives where we get disoriented on the narrow way and we find ourselves lapsing into what we know best, broad-road living in the flesh. This was the state of our being prior to the moment of our conversion. Broad-road living is all about looking out for number one and when we are stricken with vertigo of the faith, we go back to what we know best and lose our way.

JB's message is that when we struggle with those bouts of vertigo we must examine the expected fruit of our decision-making. Will it be fruit that is in keeping with the narrow road of justifying repentance? Or will it be the rotten, self-destructive fruit of the broad road? The very clear meaning of his exhortation is that there are times in our lives that call for re-repentance; literally turning back around and getting reoriented on the narrow road. This re-turning is in keeping with repentance. As a matter of fact, the re-turning or re-repentance of sanctification, is proof of the life changing repentance of justification.

Paul summed it up this way as he defended his own preaching to King Agrippa in Acts 26:20, "First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and to the Gentiles also, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds."

Slow down and let your life speak today, or better yet, let your fruit speak. Are your deeds proof of your repentance? In keeping with repentance, do you need to re-turn to the narrow way that leads to life eternal and life abundant?

The Modern Day Pharisee

For weeks now I have been reading the four gospels, studying about the life of Jesus. Even though this is very familiar territory for me, I have still been consistently amazed by his interaction with the Pharisees. I won't bore you by reintroducing the biblical Pharisee, but suffice it to say that Jesus had them in his cross hairs until they put him on the cross.

Reading about those caustic exchanges spelled out in scripture always makes me wonder if I'm a Pharisee. Would Jesus have the same problems with my spirituality that he did with theirs? What about yours? As followers of Jesus, we need to entertain the notion that we might be modern day Pharisees.

Here's my litmus test for Pharisaism: If your spiritual privilege becomes another's predicament; you're a Pharisee. When my privilege becomes your predicament, I'm doing the work of a Pharisee.

In his diatribe against those do-gooders Jesus said, "They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them." (Matthew 23:4)

The "heavy loads" to which Jesus refers are the rules and rituals of righteousness that the Pharisees lived by. Living up to those standards proved to be a full-time job and yet they placed those same expectations on people who couldn't afford to devote their lives to rule keeping. So instead of helping people connect with God's mercy and love, they were loading them down with guilt and condemnation. So their unique privileges in life were putting the people in a very difficult predicament.

Modern day Pharisees do the same thing. I was in a worship service one evening where the Pastor told the congregation that he spent four hours a day reading and studying scripture. He went on to imply that if we were serious about our relationship with God we would do the same thing! I wanted to stand up and OBJECT in hopes that the statement would be stricken from the records of our minds. Studying the scripture for four hours a day was his job and his privilege; making it my predicament was Pharisaical.

Most people who have substantive walks with God enjoy certain privileges. They have been graced with unique passions, gifts, talents, or resources that are fruitful for their walk. Each of those privileges are wonderful gifts from God that should be explored and celebrated, but never assigned!

When my privilege becomes your assignment and therefore your predicament, I have become a Pharisee by tying a heavy load on your back and doing nothing to remove it.

Say What?

I began a new series of talks this past week entitled "Say What?" The idea of the series is to wrestle with some of the peculiar statements Jesus made that leave us scratching our heads. Sunday we examined some exchanges that Jesus had with three would-be disciples in Luke 9:57-62. Two of the men came to Jesus offering to follow him and a third was approached by Jesus about possibly joining the burgeoning band of disciples.

Each of the men had a particular hang-up with the concept of total abandonment because they all had something they were hanging on to. The first one was hoping to sign up because he believed Jesus would soon be establishing a political kingdom that would mean peace and prosperity for Jerusalem. This becomes evident when we realize that Jesus answered him with the veiled language of the oppressed Jews, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Jesus was not talking about his homelessness, he was talking about the fact that he had no place to set up shop to live and govern. The fox was Herod (Luke 13:32), the "birds of the air" was an intertestamental apocalyptic reference to Gentile nations. What Jesus was saying is that, while they had established places to govern and call home, the Son of Man (read Servant of Man), did not come to establish a kingdom. He came to embrace political rejection so that he could set up a spiritual kingdom of the heart.

The second man was clinging to the tradition of his day that obligated a son to stay within the confines of the family business until the father was laid to rest. When Jesus approached him and he replied that he needed to go and bury his father, it did not mean that his father was dead but that he wanted to fulfill his expectation and stay with the family until he was. Jesus' response to him was curt: "Let the dead bury their own dead...." In other words, God is calling you to life and don't miss this opportunity to find true spiritual meaning because of the expectations of the dead.

Finally, Jesus was approached by a man who volunteered to follow him on the condition that he could "go back and say good-by to my family." This guy may have heard the exchanges with the first two and thought surely Jesus would take him because he just wanted to go say good-by. At first glance this looks to be the toughest proposal for Jesus to shoot holes in. It seems all this man wants to do is tell his family where he is going, get one last hug and be on his way. But Jesus shuts him down saying, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." Now that just seems wrong! On further inspection we discovered that the Greek word translated "good-by" is translated the four other times it is used in the New Testament as "take leave of." The custom of the day was that those who were leaving needed to seek permission to take leave from those who were staying. In essence what he was saying was, "Let me get the approval of my family and then I will go wherever you go."

If we are honest, when we read about these men, we feel for them. Their contingencies seem reasonable. As a matter of fact, the last two actually seem to be trying to do the biblical thing and honor their families. Yet Jesus says no. What is the real problem?

The real problem is that each of these men made something else their Lord. For the first his Lord was his political expectations. Jesus knew when he found out his expectations would be disappointed, he would bail out. The second made his family traditions his Lord. The third made the approval of his family his Lord.

What Jesus was trying to point out was that "no one can serve two masters." Like the rich young ruler who walked away because Jesus demanded that he give away his god, money, each of these men were asked to make a similar sacrifice. These demands are hard to stomach because of the incredibly heavy price extracted.

We struggle with the message because all of us have someone or some things in our lives that could easily become master: career, children, savings, image, family, friends, etc. These are all things we work to attain that would be virtually impossible to walk away from if required. But the point is not what you have to walk out of, it's what you should walk into.

When we prioritize God and make him Lord of our lives, everything else falls into place. When God is the center of our lives, we have more peace and joy with the other blessings he bestows upon us. With Jesus as Lord we have the capacity to live in gratitude for the good things he has done for us. This is why Jesus said, "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." God is not some killjoy who is looking to steal our lives and our loves. He is the lover of our souls who wants us to trust him with our lives. The invitation to follow him is an invitation to trust him completely. And word teaches us that he will meet that trust with a life more abundant than we could ever dream up for ourselves.

Coincidence or Spiritual Warfare?

Let me start by saying that one of my goals is not to be seen as some sort of kook when it comes to my spirituality. I know that's shallow, but I can't help myself. I just don't want to be lumped in with that group of "preachers" who appear on TV with poofed-up hair, sensationalizing their experiences so people desperate for meaning will send them their hard-earned money. While I'm not here to talk about them, I am just insecure enough about what I do to feel the need to distance myself from being associated with a group that finds a demon under every rock they trip over. Some are quicker than Flip Wilson to say that the devil made them do it, but that's not me. Right or wrong, I align myself with the personal responsibility camp, a group of committed egotists that gravitate toward accepting blame for the bad and credit for the good.

The reality is that I don't know if I'm right or wrong. I can't really discern if my reluctance to recognize or acknowledge the spiritual interpretation of events is the by-product of cultural materialism, image management, immaturity in my faith or even maturity in my walk with God. So I see what I see and say what I say in hopes that God will do what he says -- demonstrate his strength through my weakness.

The reason it is so difficult to be right in our interpretation of events is because there are always four causal possibilities. First, the laws of sowing and reaping demonstrate that some of the fruit we reap, whether rotten or ripe, comes from the trees that we planted. Second, life happens. Jesus said that good people and bad people will experience rain and sunshine. Third, the Bible teaches us that we experience testing and discipline from God that may not be pleasant at the time but is designed to make us more like Jesus. Fourth, Paul writes in Ephesians that the schemes of the devil are real. "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

We can't know for sure why stuff happens and therefore I don't think it's critical to nail down an explanation in every case. However, the events of this past Sunday compelled me to try and figure it out.

For those of you who were not at Skycrest on Sunday, let me explain. Each year we have a celebration of the GLOCAL mission outreach of our church. We hear about local and global ministries we support and, at the conclusion of the week of festivities, we invite people to join the work by pledging money for the upcoming year. The end result is that on this particular Sunday we typically raise about $30,000, or just under a third of our total mission investment for the year.

To wrap up our celebration this past Sunday, I had the privilege of interviewing a couple who have been called to the mission field to serve an unreached people group that number in excess of 13 million. Their story remarkably presents the transformative power of the gospel because they are serving people who are religiously aligned with a group of zealots that took the life of this man's brother. As you might imagine, God was moving powerfully as they shared their story.

At the conclusion of the experience, it was my responsibility to remind the followers in the room that Jesus reached us so we could reach others. We examined the passage of scripture in Romans 10 where Paul writes,"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?"

The logic is clear and the truth powerful: All people can be saved by Jesus if they call to him in faith. However, they can't call to him if they don't know about him. They can't know about him if they aren't told. They can't be told if believers don't go to them. Believers can't go to them if they aren't sent.

We were moving toward the glorious truth that God invites us to significance and global impact by allowing us to pool our resources and fill the role of senders. But we never got there. Just as I was about to lead people to consider God's call for them as senders, just before we were going to take up the offering for the missions that we support around the world ... the fire alarm went off. No kidding! The fire alarm went off and the entire campus had to be evacuated.

We didn't get to finish sharing the gospel. We didn't get to finish explaining the opportunity that we have to join God in the work. We didn't get to give people the privilege of investing their resources in God's kingdom.

Was that coincidence or spiritual warfare? Did the fire alarm just happen to malfunction two minutes before we sacrificially committed to God's agenda? Or did we experience some physical manifestation of the spiritual reality the scripture reveals?

Obviously we can't know for sure (remember the four causal possibilities?). What we do know is that our alarm system identifies the location of any disturbance that triggers an alarm and there was nothing out of the ordinary to set it off. The sensor that tripped was in a locked janitorial closet void of strange odors or machinery that could have mechanically malfunctioned.

Did we experience spiritual warfare? Image management aside, I honestly think we did. But in the end it really doesn't matter. What matters is how we respond. What matters is that we recognize the critical nature of what God has called us to do and the commitment of our foe to generate distraction. We have to understand and prepare for the fact that when we are working to glorify God and advance His kingdom we will attract the attention of our enemy whose M.O. is to "steal, kill, and destroy."

And most importantly we have to remember that we are a part of the winning team. We will overcome because we are more than conquerors through God who gives us strength.

Relative Faith

My favorite book begins with one of my favorite quotes. The book is If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat. The quote is by Theodore Roosevelt from a speech that was given in Paris in 1910. I'm sure you have encountered it somewhere along the way...

"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena ... who, at best, knows in the end the triumph of great achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So that his place will never be with those cold timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."

I love the book generally and the quote specifically because they awaken that part of me that desires to seize the day, the part that is afraid of being average and ordinary, the part that needs to be awakened periodically because sometimes the challenges associated with carpe diem are so overwhelming and scary that I want to cop out.

The story behind the book is obviously the biblical story of Peter getting out of the boat the disciples were in and walking on water toward Jesus. When I read the story I fantasize about being Peter and having the faith and courage to walk on water. But I realize I'm probably more like the majority who stayed in the safe confines of the boat and watched -- the "boat potatoes" as Ortberg calls them.

I reread the account in Matthew 14 this morning and, as I did, I felt an unfamiliar frustration with Jesus' treatment of Peter. See, it surprises me that it would even occur to Peter that, for him, walking on water was a possibility. I'm impressed that Peter invited himself to join Jesus on the stroll and it amazes me that he actually got out of the boat. Yet what really boggles my mind is that Jesus called Peter out for his "little faith."

You know the story. As Peter was making his way to Jesus, the wind picked up so much that he could literally see the effects. He got concerned about what he had gotten himself into, he lost his focus, began to sink and cried out to Jesus to save him. Matthew 14:31 says, "Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?'"

I understand that Jesus made an accurate assessment of Peter's faith as he sank. What I don't understand is why he called him out like that in front of the boys. Why wasn't Peter praised for his risk taking? Why didn't Jesus understand what Roosevelt said, "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena." Why weren't the others chided for their "boat potato" faith which as it relates to water walking is no faith at all? Relative to the rest of the group, Peter is the only one who was flexing faith, yet he received the rebuke!

The answers lie in the fact that faith is not relative to the group but the call. While we get caught up in comparing and contrasting our journey with others, God doesn't. He assesses followers on a call by call basis.

Peter was called to walk on water. In the middle of the journey his faith shrunk and he got that sinking feeling of failure. In that moment, it wasn't about the boys watching from the comfy confines of the boat. It was about maximizing the potential of the one with the courage to get out of the boat. So in the process of saving him, Jesus reminded Peter that the faith that got him out of the boat would be needed to sustain him in the storm.

My frustration with Jesus' response to Peter is ill conceived. Peter's willingness to enter the arena isn't the point. A risk taking adrenaline junkie would have jumped out of the boat without a moment's hesitation. For those who follow Christ, the point of entering the arena is to expand the kingdom by bringing glory and honor to God. We don't take risks for risk's sake, we take them for God's sake. It has to be about God and stay about God.

Herein lies the problem with Peter: He lost his focus on Jesus which caused his faith to wither and doubt to bloom. In that condition it became about Peter's ability to survive, not Peter's call to Jesus. Still in grace Jesus reached out and saved him, reminding Peter that his life was in His capable, trustworthy hands. The message for Peter, and for us is that by faith we should follow the call wherever it leads. In faith we should keep our eyes on the God of the call.

Where Have I Been?

If you've been looking for my latest musings and have been disappointed, I apologize. I took a bit of a sabbatical. I expected to come back to The Connecting Point refreshed and ready to say something profound. I kept waiting for that that unmistakable "ah ha" moment that I get when I know I have something to say. Other than nothing, I don't know what happened. I realized this morning that if I had to keep waiting for that moment to write something, I might forget my password and never be able to return.

If you have asked where I have been, I have asked where God has been. Usually in these seasons of silence I get back into rhythm pretty quickly. I have a mental list of catalysts that I work through that generally spark what I perceive to be fresh insight about God, myself or others. I worked through the list thoroughly! I took a vacation. I read scripture, books by my favorite authors and the poetry of Billy Collins. I talked to people that inspire me. I asked God for help and confessed the sins that I'm aware of and any that may have occurred off the radar screen of my consciousness. And, in an act of sheer desperation, I even turned off sports talk radio in favor of The Best of Passion {So Far} worship CDs. I've done all of my tricks and the end result is I'm still waiting.

I think maybe it's because I needed to be reminded that streams of abundance are a by-product of God's grace. We can't predict how, when or why God is going to speak and we certainly can't trick him into doing so. If we could, it wouldn't be an act of grace but an act of reciprocity. While I know in my mind God doesn't do reciprocity, I struggle to accept it because the testimonies that I've heard from people who seem to have experienced God in their walk all suggest they did something to earn it.

When I was in seminary virtually all of the chapel times reinforced this notion. Pastors from big churches in the denomination would come and tell us all about how they had led their church into incredible growth because they did stuff right. They preached the Word with the right amount of passion, or they prayed a lot, or accepted the least of these, or knew how to hire and fire, or used the right day timer, or played the right kind of music, or wore the right kind of socks, or combed their hair properly, or convinced everybody to be Republicans ... it was amazing! I took notes and determined that one day I would incorporate all the right stuff into my ministry and God would have to grow my church and eventually I would end up on that stage in chapel talking about how I had earned God's grace.

I remember clearly when God revealed the absurdity of this idea of reciprocal grace. It was early in my ministry at Dayspring and I had a perfect week of ministry. I led three people to Christ. There was a death in a family that was visiting our church and I went and mowed their lawn and then traveled out of town to be at the funeral. I had an incredible week of study and prayer. When Sunday morning came I woke up and had a time of worship that culminated in tears of wonder and gratitude. Upon reviewing the talk that morning, I realized that it was really good and I distinctly remember thinking that revival was sure to break out that morning as the spirit of God fell during the sermon. After all, God had no choice but to show up because I had earned it!

As you might imagine, things didn't go quite as I expected. I got up to do the talk and I literally felt abandoned. It felt as though God was visiting another church that morning and my spirit and my sermon were sinking in quicksand. The void of God's presence was so palpable that one of my friends asked me what happened and, as soon as I was able to pray about it, I asked the same question.

God showed me that if He had shown up after the perfect ministry week, the pressure on me to perform would have never been relieved. If I performed and He showed up I could take the credit. But if I had a bad week and He didn't, then I would have to accept the blame. In essence if the error of the grace of reciprocity had been reinforced it would teach me the lesson that His work and power are dependent upon my strength when in actuality it is dependent upon my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

The lesson then and now is the same. Whether we're talking about experiencing God's presence and power, or hearing a message from God, it's all grace. There are no tricks and there is certainly no reciprocity. God dispenses His grace in His perfect timing and according to His good pleasure, not according to our performance.

So I'll wait because I have no choice. However, I wait in freedom because I know experiencing Him is not up to me. I also wait expectantly because I know that God will never leave me or forsake me -- even when he lets me preach by myself.

The Tragic Flaw

I can't help myself, I really feel the need to explore the notion of The Tragic Flaw. I am sure this is an exaggeration, but it seems to me that about a third of the major news stories have as an undercurrent this notion of the tragic flaw in their subjects. Whether it's in the world of politics, sports, high finance, or follywood, the people making the news are those who have been exposed for the presence of a tragic flaw that has compromised their reputation, ended their careers and in some cases even ended their lives.

Before I wander off too far, I think it's imperative that we get a handle on what I mean by The Tragic Flaw. Humor me here. The word tragic means disastrous, pathetic, or fatal. The word flaw refers to a defect or a crack that mars perfection. Therefore, the concept of The Tragic Flaw refers to the seemingly inexplicable hitch in a person's giddy-up that can cause them to stumble and fall at the worst possible time, in the worst possible place. The fall is typically so disastrous that the person feels that there is little to no hope for recovery.

As I write, I can't help but think of the two men who have dominated the news most recently because of the exposure of their tragic flaws: the governor of my home state, Mark Sanford, and the former quarterback of the Tennessee Titans, Steve McNair. I have been thinking about these men because their family profiles fit mine to a tee--both fairly young, both the father of four boys, both with lots to look forward to.

My initial response to their fall was presumably the same as yours: one (hopefully faint) part schadenfreude, one part judgmental arrogance. If I thought it once I thought it 50 times: How can two men who have so much to live for get caught up in that? How can they be so foolish?

But upon further review, I realize my default response is flawed and potentially tragic. It may sound cliche, but "there but by the grace of God go I." I am fully capable of falling in the same way, or some way similar to McNair and Sanford. And you are, too. The reality is that we are all of us, tragically flawed.

Borrowing from the imagery of Eden, we all have a tree in the middle of our gardens that represents forbidden but tempting fruit. It's a tree whose convenient seemingly flawless fruit promises to fill the void in our soul.

• This tree produces soul mates when we are married but unfulfilled.
• It provides the fruit of significance and security when we wonder if we are loved.
• It offers the fruit of status when we are afraid that our stuff doesn't measure up.
• It offers the thrill of adventure when our lives seem drab and monotonous.
• It offers the delusion of control when our lives seem unmanageable.

I could go on and on but I don't need to. Suffice it to say we are all tragically flawed because there is a tree in the middle of our gardens. When things aren't going the way we want, or when we are experiencing unmet expectations, we tend to turn to the fruit that promises quick and easy resolution.

So what do we do?

First, respect and acknowledge the flaw. God pointedly told Adam and Eve about the tree and its deadly fruit. He wanted to bring to light the powerful lure of darkness and the deception that lurks in the shadows. The hope was that knowing the truth would set them free to avoid the danger.

Second, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation." (Luke 22:40) Being tempted by the tree and entering into that temptation are two different things. Jesus told us that we should daily ask that God would not lead us into temptation and that He would deliver us from evil. It is good to know when danger is near; it is better to avoid it.

Third, be grateful that you are standing and in gracious humility help those who have fallen. Galatians is very clear. "Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ."

The presence of the tragic flaw is undeniable. Succumbing to its compelling call is unnecessary.

The Sifting

I have always been fascinated by the exchange between Peter and Jesus that happened in the upper room after the Last Supper. In the midst of Jesus teaching his disciples about his impending death; infusing the Passover with new meaning; and radically reinterpreting greatness for them; he pulls back the curtain so Peter can see the battle that was raging with the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. In Paul’s words in Ephesians 6:11, Jesus was revealing the “schemes of the devil” against which Peter and the disciples were to stand.

The exchange is found in Luke 22:31-33. "'Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.’ And he said to him, ‘Lord, with you I am ready to go both to prison and to death.'"

There are a couple of things that we need to understand that will bring this passage to life.

First, the “you” of Satan’s demand is plural and therefore is applied to all the disciples who would turn their back on Jesus during the battle of the cross. I think Jesus addresses Peter specifically for three reasons:

1. He is the leader.
2. While they were all subject to the sifting, Peter would reject Jesus most publicly.
3. He was the most confident that he wouldn’t fall: “Lord with you I am ready to go both to prison and to death."

Second, there is more than meets the eye in the phrase “demanded permission.” Most translations interpret the Greek word "exaiteo" as ‘asked.’ The KJV renders Jesus revelation, “Satan desires to have you.” But I quoted the NASB because its interpretation gets at the heart of what's really being said.

When you read that “Satan has demanded permission,” the feeling is that Satan is operating with a sense of entitlement. A demand is generally based upon the perception of a legitimate claim and Satan certainly believes he has claim on us.

The word Jesus used, exaiteo, is a word that literally means to claim back for oneself. Satan knows that because of sin human beings are his. He is the Lord of the darkness into which we are born, and therefore we come into the world as children of darkness.

However, when we by faith are enlightened by the light of the world, we are transferred from darkness to light and become children of God by the will of God (John 1:4-12). This is a great loss for Satan and while he can’t take us back, he does work diligently to keep us mired in darkness. This is the sifting to which Jesus referred.

There are times that we endure sifting and while the battle is a spiritual one that transcends flesh and blood, it is waged in the flesh and we are sifted through the desires of our flesh.

Peter would be sifted by his fleshly desire for self-preservation. When he felt threatened physically by his relationship with Christ, he denied his spiritual reality. So Satan sifted him through the flesh because that is where Peter was most susceptible and where Satan could stake his claim most compellingly.

We are vulnerable in the flesh because we have been living in the flesh longer than we have been living in the Spirit. Our yearnings (our physical, psychological, and emotional cravings) find expression in the very flesh that Satan once controlled. He knows our weaknesses and he lays claim on our lives by exploiting them.

James 1:14-15 says, “Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

We are tempted, or sifted, when Satan baits us into believing that our fleshly desires are our reality. When we fall victim to the lie, we are giving birth to the death of the abundant life we enjoy by faith.

But we don’t have to fall down or stay down. We have an advocate who has defeated our adversary. He has prayed for us in the same way that he prayed for Peter. His prayer is that by faith our spiritual reality would trump the deception of our flesh. When we fall, when we are mired in the darkness of the sifting, he asks us to repent and leverage our lessons for the good of others who are being sifted.

The sifting will come. But we have to remember that in our weakness we find his strength.

Choosing Confidence in Criticism

Criticism is one of those rare commodities that even the stingiest of people are generous with. While no one likes to receive criticism, it seems the woods are full of people who are more than willing to dish it out. We could ponder the psychological reasons for our propensity to criticize, but that is for another time and hopefully a smaller audience. Today I want to explore how those who are connected to Jesus should receive and respond to criticism.

From my perspective there are really five general responses to criticism.

1. Attack the messenger - Feeling attacked, we strike back at the person making the observation, slinging mud at every facet of their lives in an attempt to maintain superiority.
2. Discredit the messenger - This is an indirect attack that undermines the credibility of the criticizer. When engaged in discrediting, we tell anyone who will listen about the personal problems of the one who has leveled the criticism.
3. Withdraw and sulk - Over-responding to the shame of the criticism, we shut down any interaction with the person who attacked us believing that ostracizing our enemy is a just punishment for their crime.
4. Blowup and then process - Initially we get really angry and say things that we regret. Then as time goes by we reflect honestly on the issue.
5. Check our emotions and search for validity - No angry reactions. If appropriate we offer an apology for a perceived offense and express gratitude for their concern. Then, having protected the dignity of our critic, we look for the nuggets of truth that lie within almost every criticism.

Obviously for followers of Jesus the first three responses are totally unacceptable, the fourth is beginning to move in the right direction, but only the last option truly reflects our commitment to Christ. Not surprisingly, the last option is by far the most difficult response to muster -- but it is not impossible.

2 Samuel records the sad story of Absalom's insurrection, stealing the hearts of the people of Israel and then taking the throne from his father, David. In 2 Samuel 16:5-14, there is a play-by-play account of David's exodus from the Promised Land that features a unique critique.

There is a man from the tribe of Benjamin, the family of Saul, named Shimei. You remember that Saul was the king who preceded David, so presumably this man had a bit of an ax to grind. Having heard that David was on the run and coming his way, Shimei took it upon himself to let David know that he was getting exactly what he deserved. The scripture says he cursed David and, if that wasn't enough, he ran alongside the party pelting David, his officials, and his bodyguards with stones and saying, "Get out, get out, you man of blood, you scoundrel! The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The Lord has handed the kingdom over to your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a man of blood!"

Needless to say, Shimei wasn't the sharpest Benjamite in the box. By pounding the king with pebbles he was taking his life in his own hands. As a matter of fact Abishai, one of David's fiercest warriors, requested permission to go lop Shimei's head off. But David would have none of it. Somehow he found the strength to respond to Shimei with his emotions in check and with an open mind to the validity of his statements. Reading the account of David's response reveals how David was able to choose the noble way in the face of some extremely debilitating and enraging criticism.

First, David knew that he had bigger fish to fry than Shimei. In verse 11 he reminds Abishai, "My son, who is my own flesh, is trying to take my life. How much more, then, this Benjamite!" In other words, why would you expend any unnecessary energy on this person who cannot affect your future, when my own flesh and blood is out to kill me. Let's keep things in perspective here. We are getting what we expect from him, let it go!

Second, David chose to see criticism as a treasure map. David knew that the criticism was going to lead to treasure. The first possibility was that the Lord sent Shimei and there was a truth he had to face up to. In verse 11 he tells Abishai to leave him alone because it is quite possible the Lord instructed him to curse David. In verse 12 he mentions a more plausible possibility that the Lord will see his plight and "repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today." Either way, David believed there was treasure coming if he endured the criticism.

Third David kept moving toward the goal. Verse 13 says, "So David and his men continued along the road while Shimei was going along the the hillside opposite him, cursing as he went and throwing stones at him and showering him with dirt." What a scene: A grown man pitching an extended fit toward the king. But as entertaining as that would have been to witness, the remarkable part is that David kept on going. The tendency when hurt is to quit. We accept defeat and stop progress by hyper focusing on our wounds. But not David. He had somewhere to go and he stayed the course.

Fourth when he arrived, he acknowledged the pain and sought relief. Verse 14 says, "The king and all the people arrived at their destination exhausted. And there he refreshed himself." David didn't try to convince himself that Shimei was just a bad dream, he didn't try to pretend that it didn't affect him. He was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally and Shimei was a big part of that. So when he got where he was going, he gave himself some time to process. He spent time with God, acknowledging the devastation brought about by Absalom as well as Shimei and no doubt taking some time to find the treasure buried at the end of the hunt.

The Big Squeeze

I don't buy the notion that there are no dumb questions. I fully believe that people ask dumb questions. I have asked you dumb questions and I have been victimized by yours as well. It is part of getting to know people, it is a part of speech really. I say this because I am about to ask you a series of questions that could easily be interpreted, or misinterpreted, as dumb. Indulge me; I hope these questions prove purposeful.

• What do you get when you squeeze an orange?
• What do you get when you squeeze a bottle of ketchup?
• What do you get when you squeeze a tube of toothpaste?

Obviously we all know the answer to those questions. If there is any doubt in your mind I would suggest avoiding tryouts for Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? The expectation is that when squeezed, you would get out of each vessel what is actually inside. So, when you squeeze a container of ketchup you get ketchup, when pressure is applied to a tube of toothpaste you get toothpaste.

If we extrapolate this out into the absurd, we could even formulate principles that govern our expectations for the squeeze.

1. When squeezed something is going to come out.
2. What comes out is what is inside.
3. What is inside is what has been intentionally placed there.

Silly but true.

Now, with all of that in mind, let me ask you an important question: What do you get when you squeeze a Christian?

Following the principles of the squeeze, the answer should be Christ. When a Christian is squeezed by the pressures of life the result should be that a likeness of Christ comes out. Do you agree?

Believe it or not, Jesus had something to say about all of this. In his Sermon on the Mount he addressed this concept.

You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can't produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can't produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. Matthew 7:16-20 NLT

Jesus was pointing out was that there are a plethora of people who say they are good and godly; they run with the right people and go to the right churches and have all of the right answers. But all of that stuff doesn't matter because it's surface stuff and can be controlled. To really know what a person is like, you have to wait until they are wedged in the vice of life, when they experience the Big Squeeze. It is during the pressures of life that you can know who a person is and whose they are.

Let me ask a more important question: What do we get when life squeezes you?

Whatever Happened to Peace?

In the last installment of musings I wrote about the apparent disappearance of sin from our collective conscience not that sin has made itself scarce, but that we have reidentified it as something far more palatable and, therefore, much less offensive.

It has been interesting to listen to people respond to that blog because it was widely interpreted as "out of character" for me. I am generally not that confrontational because I believe grace attracts, edifies and ultimately ends in voluntary self-correction (see Zacchaeus). After all, it is God's amazing grace "that taught my heart to fear, and grace will lead me home."

However, I felt compelled to write that blog about the presence of sin because of the absence of peace. We are not a people at peace, yet we fail to make the inextricable connection between our peacelessness and our sinfulness. When we are at odds with our creator we are at odds with peace. So it is vital that we identify those things that sabotage our serenity.

Since enmity with God is our natural experience and unrest is our typical environment, we may not have a frame of reference that enables us to recognize peace. So we need be able to identify it, too. We need to recognize when we are harmonizing with God's purpose for our lives. Then when we experience life as God intended, we will have a more radical commitment to exterminating the things (sins) that compromise it.

So what is peace? The peace that God desires for us is what the Hebrew prophets called shalom. Dr. Cornelius Plantinga Jr. defines shalom like this in his book, Not the Way it is Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin:

"We call it peace, but it means far more than mere peace of mind or a cease-fire between enemies. In the Bible, shalom means a universal flourishing, wholeness, and delight – a rich state of affairs in which natural needs are satisfied and natural gifts fruitfully employed, a state of affairs that inspires joyful wonder as its Creator and Savior opens doors and welcomes the creatures in whom he delights. Shalom, in other words, is the way things ought to be."

I don't know about you, but my heart yearns for "universal flourishing, wholeness, and delight." And the beauty is that God yearns for me to have it and has made it available. There is a path that we can follow that will ultimately lead to peace.

So whatever happened to peace? It's right where it has always been! It's on a narrow path sitting in the middle of the road less traveled.

Jesus encouraged us to find peace by finding that narrow road. "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." (Matthew 7:13-14)

When Jesus spoke of life he was referring to a life of peace. While the road to peace may be narrow, it is actually easily accessible through Jesus who also said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life and no man comes to the Father but by me."

Peace is what you want and through the way of with Christ, God has made it available to all who ask.

What Ever Happened to Sin?

"Whatever happened to sin?" I wish you could hear me ask that question in the quiet of my mind. If you could, then you would understand that I am asking it like sin was an old friend who lived down the hall from me in college, someone that I would expect to bump into on FaceBook. I ask about it like it's someone that I used to spend time with and, because our paths went in different directions, we've simply lost touch.

I ask that question not because I'm too good to sin, I'm not. Much to my chagrin, I am as fully capable of falling today as I ever have been.

For me the question is far more communal than personal. I'm asking you, too! Have you heard about sin? Where did it go? When I was growing up I heard all kinds of sermons on it. I heard as much about sin as I did grace and love. Because I recognized the presence of sin I longed for the presence of grace and love.

Thinking through this, I decided to look at the last five years of my preaching calendar. Of the 250+ sermons I preached, surely I could find some that included "sin" in their titles. Guess what: The search yielded a series of sermons titled, "What's Missing?" Can you believe that? I'll tell you what's missing ....

Sin is missing from our collective conversations. It is politically incorrect and and therefore taboo. If we talk about sin then we are too negative and too narrow. To point out sin is judgmental and arrogant and so we avoid it like the plague. The only problem is that sin is the problem, and it needs to be identified.

Sin is not really missing, it's just hidden in plain sight. Sin is ...

• killing babies and calling it choice
• blowing up abortion clinics and calling it justice
• racking up credit card debt and calling it priceless
• living together before marriage and calling it cheaper
• looking out for No. 1 and calling it the American dream
• having an affair and calling it deserved
• eating too much and calling it a celebration
• talking bad about people and calling it a prayer request
• avoiding home and calling it providing for the family
• neglecting worship and calling it time to ourselves

In his book, Not the Way it is Supposed to Be, Neal Plantinga writes, "Sin is the missing of a target, a wandering from the path, a straying from the fold. Sin is a hard heart and a stiff neck. Sin is blindness and deafness. It is both the overstepping of a line and the failure to reach it -- both transgression and shortcoming. Sin is a beast crouching at the door. In sin, people attack or evade or neglect their divine calling. Sin is never normal. Sin is a disruption of created harmony and then resistance to divine restoration of that harmony. Above all, sin disrupts and then resists the vital human relation to God."

Whether we talk about it or not, the evidence of sin is all around us. It is stealing, killing, and destroying life as it was divinely designed. Things are not the way they are supposed to be. The irony is that, instead of blaming men and their sin for the problems and suffering we experience, the world we live in blames the God we believe in. The end result is that because of sin, God and sin have become figments of the imagination.

Understand, I am in no way suggesting that we pick up our rocks of righteousness and begin stoning our neighbors. I don't think we need to return to the days of hell-fire and brimstone preaching. I'm certainly not asking for a revival of judgmental sin-speak that alienates the church from the culture we are called to reach.

What I am asking for is a reduction of sin in the church. Wouldn't it be cool if we had fewer sin addicts? Wouldn't God's kingdom come and his will be done more if we sinned less? Like they say in AA: to solve a problem you have to admit you have one. Can we admit we have a problem?

If we are going to talk about sin, calling it what it is, let's talk about it in-house. Let's get the church that enjoys the forgiveness of sin to begin living victoriously over sin. Then we will see that the compelling story of positive life-change inside the church will lead to transformation outside the church.

The Ingredients of a Life Well-lived

I missed writing last week because I made a trip to my hometown, Walhalla, South Carolina. While I have heard rumors of Internet access there, I have yet to confirm them so I took the week off. For the four of you that care, my apologies.

I made the trip because after 90 years of unwavering consistency my grandmother went home to be with the Lord. Her name was Mattie Eliza Wilson. She is survived by my grandfather Clayton and 55 others who knew her as mother, grandmother or great-grandmother. If ever there was a group of people who understand the concept of a true matriarch, these 55 people get it.

I've heard that no one is perfect so I guess it's true, but my grandmother made a run at it. She was a wonderfully dependable, perfectly predictable follower of Jesus. Her love language was selflessness. If there was a need she met it. If there was a void she filled it. If there was confusion she cleared it up. If you needed some advice she gave it, whether you asked for it or not.

I think if Jesus had spoken at her funeral he would have described her as great. She fit his description to a tee: "Whoever wants to be great among you, must be your servant." While I am certain that the pursuit of greatness never made it on her to-do list, it was her reality. She was a true servant who never allowed unfavorable circumstances or personal inconvenience to interfere with her pursuit of others' happiness.

At the end of the day my grandmother really cared about two things: living for Jesus and caring for others. By all accounts, these are the ingredients of a life well lived.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30).

The Parent Trap

We've been going through a sermon series at Skycrest titled "Reel Families." The idea is to take titles of well known movies and build the talk around them. Yesterday we explored The Parent Trap. The whole talk was essentially an interview with T. C. and Rebecca Staton who are two of the most effective parents I know anything about. (If you weren't there it is really worth a listen at www.skycrestfamily.org.)

In in preparing this study, I became convinced of an aspect of parenting I had previously thought little about--parental discipline. As I read through the book of Proverbs, I rediscovered the familiar encouragements and benefits of disciplining children for the child's sake.

Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

Proverbs 23:13-14
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

Reading those verses reminded and even reinspired me about the benefits of discipline for my children. But it wasn't until I read Proverbs 29:17-18 that it all fell into place for me.

Proverbs 29:17-18
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law.

I would imagine I've heard no less than 15 sermons on Proverbs 29:18. The NAS says, "Where there is no vision the people are unrestrained ...." The talks are always about cultivating vision for the future and then working towards it. But as I read verse 18 in context with verse 17, my understanding about what Solomon was teaching began to change.

At first I saw it as an echo to the other proverbs as it related to my children and discipline: If they are disciplined throughout life they will be blessed. But then I realized this verse was not about the benefits of discipline to my children. This verse was about the benefits of discipline to me!

Look at verse 17 again. Who gets the peace? Whose soul is delighted? The parent's! From that perspective it's clear that verse 18's invitation to cultivate vision as a means to restraint is for the parent. The idea is that parents need to have a vision of the benefits of discipline so they will be disciplined in their parenting. And the promise is that if a parent is disciplined in keeping the law as it relates to training their children, then they will be blessed.

The laws of sowing and reaping apply to raising children. You cannot reap what you do not sow. If you aren't disciplined as a parent, then you will not have discplined children. If you don't consistently honor God and His word in disciplining and discipling your children, then they won't honor God and His word as they respond.

The Parent Trap that we identified yesterday was the trap of being a reactive parent. This is parenting with emotions only, always responding to your children based upon the level of agitation or embarassment they cause. Needless to say, reactive parenting is extremely undisciplined and unpredictable. The boundaries are always moving based on your mood and the result is that the child can't gain any traction or confidence because they never know where they stand.

On the other hand, God's word teaches proactive parenting which has a vision for the value of discipline for both parent and child. It is not easy. It demands prayer, creativity, intentionality, authenticity, and a willingness to make the difficult decision to hold your kids accountable for their actions. Hebrews 12:11 casts a compelling vision for disciplined parenting. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

It is always a challenge to discipline yourself to be a parent and not just a friend to your children, but in the end disciplined discipline is a gracious act of love that equips the child for God-honoring success in life.

Mulish Disposition

In my Wednesday night Bible study at Skycrest I have been teaching through the Samuels and have finally come to the soap opera that is David's home life. WOW! If only he had exercised a little vision, a little restraint, a little self-control, if only ....

But as you know, he didn't. When he should have been off leading the troops in Holy War against God's enemies, he was at home waging war against boredom. On that fateful afternoon boredom won and David and Bathsheba, Uriah, the royal family, the nation of Israel, and God's kingdom were all dealt a devastating blow whose repercussions would be felt for generations.

We know that for about a year David went on with business as usual until Nathan the prophet dropped by on God's behalf and told David that the jig was up, the secret was out. Nathan knew and, of course, God knew. David was going to have to pay because, as God put it, "You despised me." God couldn't allow himself to be mocked and David immediately began reaping the rotten fruit of his indiscretion.

Out of this period of devastation emerge two wonderful psalms. We are all familiar with Psalm 51. It is the song that David wrote as he dealt honestly with his sin, begging God to forgive him and restore the joy of his walk with God--the joy of God's salvation. But we may not be as familiar with the psalm that presumably followed this confession, Psalm 32.

Psalm 32 begins with David acknowledging the blessing of God's forgiveness and the fact that God holds no grudges once our sin has been dealt with. Then David describes what his life was like before he acknowledged the elephant in the room of his heart. "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer." (Psalm 32:3-4)

The sin between he and God made David a shell of his former self. His unwillingness to acknowledge his sin was sucking the life right out of him because the hand of the Lord against him was suffocating his spirit. While he had convinced himself that he had gotten away with it on the outside, it was killing him on the inside. So God sent Nathan along in the lifeboat of truth to instigate the healing and the health of God's gracious forgiveness.

Now looking back, David teaches us how to avoid the painful lessons of unconfessed sin--don't be like a mule! Seriously, take a look at Psalm 32:9! "Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you." In order for us to avoid the unnecessary pain of unforgiven sin, we have to overcome our stubborn mulish tendencies and choose the self-discipline of confession.

David clearly did not do that. The day Nathan came he put the bit in David's mouth and led him back to the Lord. Now in retrospect, David realizes that this was a grace from God that he didn't deserve and may not even enjoy the next time. David's admonishment to the reader is to avoid that painful scenario by recognizing when God is inviting confession and offering the relief of reconciliation. "Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found ..." (Psalm 32:6)

David understood that the agony of his soul was an invitation from God. It was the healthy guilt that God sends that demands attention, that alerts us to the fact that now is the time that God can be found. When this gracious guilt is present, we must not choose a mulish disposition, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge our shortcomings. Instead, we should humble ourselves and admit to God our need for him so we can enjoy the blessings of his forgiveness.

Commanded to Fail

Recently I sat down and reread the story of the exodus. In the process I noticed something that caught me a bit off guard. God set Moses up to fail. As a matter of fact, God called, equipped, motivated, and even relocated Moses only to ensure in that his initial attempts would fail.

I am sure you know the story. Moses was the adopted prince of Egypt who was well in touch with his Hebrew heritage. One day as he was out visiting his people he saw an Egyptian abusing a Hebrew and in a fit of rage killed him and ditched the body in the sand. Word got back to Pharaoh who decided that Moses should die. Realizing the danger, Moses fled Egypt and ended up in Midian where he took a job as a shepherd watching the flocks of his eventual father-in-law Jethro. In search of food, Moses led the flock to the Mountain of God, Horeb. While he was there, God showed up in a burning bush and invited Moses to go back to Egypt and deliver his people from Egyptian slavery. There was a bit of a disagreement as to Moses' qualifications. Moses believed that he didn't have the right stuff, and God said, "EXACTLY! That's why you're the man." Eventually God convinced him, showed him some supernatural tricks he could do with his staff to help convince Pharaoh, and Moses and his family were off to Egypt!

Exodus 4:19-21 (NIV)
Now the LORD had said to Moses in Midian, "Go back to Egypt, for all the men who wanted to kill you are dead." 20 So Moses took his wife and sons, put them on a donkey and started back to Egypt. And he took the staff of God in his hand. 21 The LORD said to Moses, "When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go."

Now I don't know if Moses thought like I think, but this idea of obeying to fail is not something I naturally gravitate to. As a matter of fact, fearing to fail is a much more apt description of my mindset. On more than one occasion I have uttered the words, "Failure is not an option." Yet when I look at this story I find God instructing Moses to brace himself for failure and rejection.

Why would God instruct us to do something that would ensure, at least initially, failure? There are probably a number of reasons, but I think that two transcend the rest: 1) God wants the glory; 2) There are lessons that we need to learn that only the laboratory of failure can teach us.

First, God wants the glory. Jesus told us that unless we abide in him we can accomplish nothing. And in Isaiah 57:15 we learn who God abides with: "For this is what the high and lofty One says--he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite."

God abides in heaven where He is always glorified. At the same time, He dwells with those who are contrite and lowly in spirit. Why? Because the contrite and lowly in spirit are not glory thieves. They have met with failure and have learned to appreciate success. Uninterrupted success makes a glory thief. The person who succeeds may not want it that way, they don't set out to steal God's glory, but the celebrity of success ultimately diminishes the recognition of God's role in a great work. If a person has never met with failure, people will begin to believe that success is dependent upon the leader and not God.

Second, there are lessons that we need to learn that can only be learned through failure. Robert F. Kennedy said, "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." Think about it and you will realize that the scripture is chock-full of great leaders who enjoyed colossal failure. However, it was in the crucible of failure that they were equipped to succeed.

Peter was divinely selected to be the leader of the twelve. On one occasion his great faith in Jesus compelled him to hop out of a boat in an attempt to walk on water. He was successful until he he took his eyes off of Jesus and began to sink. Lesson learned: Stay focused on the Lord!

On another occasion Peter was praised for revealing a truth that was clearly sent from God. He immediately followed that up with some unsolicited advice to Jesus, insisting that he NOT give in to dying. Jesus responded, "Get thee behind me Satan!" OUCH!!! Lesson learned: Following Jesus demands self-sacrifice!

Many times the lessons of failure give us the ingredients for success. When it comes to failure we need to amend our perspective: FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION, IT IS A NECESSITY!

God Finally Speaks

As Job's friends insistence that Job was experiencing the judgment of God due to sin crescendos through the book, Job's plea narrows. He stops asking his friends to hear him out and turns his attention to God. In Job 13:22 he articulates his plea challenging God, "Then summon me and I will answer, or let me speak and you reply." His idea was that if he could just get an audience with the almighty, if God would just hear him out, he would acknowledge Job's righteousness and then would explain exactly what was going on.

As we wrap up here, we need to be settled on the fact that Job was not wrong. He was a righteous man. Remember when Satan sauntered into God's presence, it was God who called Satan's attention to Job: "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil" (Job 1:8). As I have pointed out before, Job was all that and a bag of chips! He was the bomb! So he knew that he wasn't being punished for some besetting sin. What he really wanted was for God to show up and let his friends know the truth, and, while he was at it, God could explain himself to the group.

While Job was asking for an explanation, God knew that what he needed was a revelation. Job knew some things about God but the problem was that he didn't have a sense of what he didn't know. What he knew was right, but it was woefully incomplete. In Job 38:2 God says, "Who is this that darkens My counsel with words without knowledge?" In other words, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Your argument, while trimmed in eloquence, is laced with ignorance. You may know about me but you don't know me, Job."

In chapters 38-41 of the book, God issues 77 questions to Job to help him understand that you don't know what you don't know. In asking His questions, God never answers Job's. But he reveals himself to Job. At the end of the book Job recognizes that God is really all he ever needed. "My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you" (Job 42:5). Job still had questions but now he had God. And the bottom line for Job was that he would rather have life with God and questions than life without God and answers.

The Patience of Job?

When we hear talk of Job, the word that is attached to him is patience. His patience has become proverbial, how this man of impeccable integrity kept his faith in the midst of the most devastating storm imaginable. So tradition tells us that we should celebrate the patience of Job.

Where does that idea come from? I read the book and I'm not sure that what I see in Job is patience! In my home, when my boys are having a problem, any problem, they think they have to talk about it immediately. Without regard to what anyone else is doing or talking about, they interrupt, spewing forth an impassioned plea for relief. Sometimes their issue warrants attention, and sometimes we ask them to wait just a minute. Generally, one of two things happen: They either completely ignore our instruction and tell us the same story LOUDER or they wait about 15 seconds and ask if a minute is up. To this I almost always impatiently respond: Be patient!

The sign of their impatience is the interruption, the need to talk about it immediately. The fact that we make them wait doesn't indicate that they are patient, it indicates that we are in control and they have to wait whether they like it or not.

Job had to wait too. But that doesn't mean he was patient. God was in control. He was going to address Job when He was ready to address him. But any cursory reading of Job's monologues would lead one to conclude that Job was anxious for God's response.

Where does this concept of Job's patience originate? The first and only time that this word is specifically linked to Job in scripture is in James 5:11 (KJV); "Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy." See, even James had heard of the patience of Job.

But upon further inspection, the original Greek word that is translated patience is best translated as endurance or perseverance. Point of fact, the word translated "endure" in the first part of the verse is the verb form of the same word that is translated "patience" in the second part.

You may think that I'm splitting hairs here, but to me endurance or perseverance is the way to go because endurance is heroic.

• Patience tolerates setbacks with indifference, endurance seeks to redeem them.
• Patience says, "Wake me up when it is over." Perseverance says, "I won't quit no matter what happens!"
• Patience sits back and waits quietly (without interruption) for the storm to pass while endurance sits up and engages the storm.
• Patience believes it will soon be over while endurance believes we will soon be better.

I think the NIV got it right when they chose to interpret James' words this way: "As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."

The heroic example of Job shines through his endurance. He persevered through the unthinkable with his faith intact. He may have begged for his day in court so he could state his case to God, but it was with full faith that he was bringing his case to the one true God. He never wavered on his faith, understanding that if he persevered, he would come out a better man in the end. "When he has tested me, I will come forth as gold." (Job 23:10)

A. W. Tozer put it this way in Roots of Righteousness, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He’s hurt him deeply.” Do you believe that?

James does. Using the same Greek word for perseverance, James writes this about our suffering: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

... But I Don't Know What to Say!?!

One of the toughest things about being a believer committed to serving the needs of others is knowing what to do or say when a friend is going through a difficult time. Outside of our families, most of our relationships are forged around the best foot. We get to know people on their terms, as they want us to see them, and that is with their best foot forward. So when the storms of life and death are raging, we aren't sure how to relate.

We want to help, but we don't know what to say. We lack confidence in our ability to be a friend and, in the end, we actually fear making things worse for the one who is hurting -- like Job's friends did.

After losing all ten of his children and his good health, Job needed to get some things off of his chest. Faced with the fact that they could do nothing to relieve Job, his friends got angry at him. Since they couldn't explain what was happening to him, they told him it was his fault. They informed him that if he had been righteous this never would have happened. In their anger, they said Job actually was getting what he deserved.

What in the world were they thinking? Why did they feel like they had to explain what was happening? Why couldn't they just listen in silence?

Two things are going on here.

First, they got angry at themselves and took it out on Job. They were angry that they couldn't relieve Job's pain. Friends feel the need to fix things. When questions need to be answered, we want to provide the answers. When there is pain, we want to soothe it. They went there hoping to help but ultimately couldn't. They were frustrated and angry and their response to their own failure multiplied Job's pain.

The second thing that was going on here was that Job's friends were trying to fill a role that was not theirs to fill. In their desire to make things better, they took on God's job, attempting to answer questions that they mistakenly thought needed to be answered. But they misread the need. Job's cries and questions may have been expressed to them, but they were directed to God. So they applied the Band-Aid of bumper sticker theology, thinking that saying the right thing would make it all better. But it didn't because it can't. Knowing what caused a storm doesn't diminsh its damage.

In Job 16, he finally tells his friends that he has had enough of thier heartless babble. They had neither provided comfort nor answered his questions. They missed it altogether!

He didn't need them to play God and provide answers. They didn't have to be theologians and psychologists. He just needed them to be there and provide support. He needed them to listen without responding, to help him secure the daily bread that would sustain him in his time of grief.

And that is exactly what our friends need. When we have friends going through the storms of life we must commit to be there. Then we go, not trying to take the pain away committed to doing our part to relieve the pressure that accompanies the pain. And when we don't know what to say, we choose not to say anything at all. Our presence in a storm answers the one question that must be answered: Does anyone care?

Presumption of Ease

For those of you who don't really know me, I am not one of those people who is "just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

You know that person right? As soon as something good happens they begin making plans for some negative force to come and steal their candy. I had a pastor friend tell me about a very generous love offering his church gave him on his first anniversary. When I congratulated him, he told me he was "just waiting for the other shoe to drop," and even suggested that his transmission would soon go out in his van. How sad is that? In my opinion, dodging falling shoes is no way to live -- and I don't.

But I'm not one of those "name-it-and-claim-it" people either. I assume you know that group. They believe that if you claim something in JeEEesus name, then it's yours. You merely have to have and maintain the right kind of faith-speak. By faith, you speak your preferred future and you hang on, faithfully speaking it into existence until it comes to pass.

For example, "I'm believing for a new F-150, extended cab with glass packs and a lift kit." I don't even know if such a vehicle exists, but if you want it bad enough and you unleash your faith on it, you can go ahead and make space in your front yard to park it -- it's yours! I could go on and on with the absurdity of this philosophy, but suffice it to say that if your faith system depends on capitalism and a free market economy, then it is at best flawed. The faith that I find presented in the Bible is good whether you live in China or Clearwater.

So what lens am I looking through? My philosophy, for the most part, can be described as a presumption of ease. What does that mean? In my day-to-day affairs I believe that things will come off without a hitch, just as planned. Simply put, I expect things to go my way.

I realized this was one of my core presumptions this past week when life took an unexpected turn. Nikki and I were looking forward to spending a couple of days with two of our closest friends from Oklahoma, the Odoms. They were arriving in Tampa on Tuesday afternoon and then leaving again early Thursday morning. So we planned for a great couple of days. The boys were fired up! It was going to be the best .... What could go wrong? Well, let me tell you ....

Early Tuesday morning at about 3 a.m. I heard the unmistakable sound of sickness, not once but twice! Within 2 minutes of each other, both Landry and Wil had gotten sick. I'm not sure that I will ever forget the questions Nikki asked the moment we realized what was happening, just before we sprung into action: "Can you believe this? What are we going to do with the Odoms?"

The truth is I couldn't believe it. I had not even considered this a possibility. Remember, I live with a presumption of ease. Things like this aren't supposed to happen to me and my family.

Where do I get that idea? Is it a sense of entitlement? I hope not. But in reality, the presumption of anything before God, be it falling shoes, F-150’s, or a life of ease is erroneous. Presuming upon God is elevating our expectations to the place of sovereignty. Our presumption limits God. Then when He blows through our presumptive boundaries, our foundations are shaken and in some cases they crumble.

Job’s three friends lived with a presumption of God. They presumed a quid pro quo reality whereby people get back what they are giving out. If you were good, you received good things. If you were bad, then you would receive bad things.

Bildad epitomizes this philosophy when he says, “Does God pervert justice? Does the Almighty pervert what is right? When your children sinned against him, he gave them over to the penalty of their sin. But if you will look to God and plead with the Almighty, if you are pure and upright, even now he will rouse himself on your behalf and restore you to your rightful place .... Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evildoers." (Job 8:3-6, 20)

While there is a law of sowing and reaping, you have to allow space in time for good things to happen to bad people, and bad things to good people. God’s primary concern for us is not what happens to us, but what happens in us. He uses the good and the bad to mold us into the men and women he wants us to be. God can and will use everything to teach us, including the unexpected.

So what did I learn when my week didn’t go as I presumed it would? As my preaching professor used to say, “Don’t never assume nothin'!” Instead, “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Uncovered

One of the things that I have been taught, whether intentionally or unintentionally, is that there is a formula or a combination that unlocks the door to life preferred. When there is a dream that I want to see come true, this teaching says all I have to do is figure out the formula, develop a plan of implementation, work the plan and the plan will work. This concept seems to be rooted in the idea that God is faithful to the faithful. But when I stop to consider his servant Job, the whole notion collapses like a house of cards.

I'm sure you know the story: Job was a really good guy. God called him "blameless and upright." He was a man who understood how to apply the fear of God in his everyday life. This was no more evident than in the way that he served his family as priest. Chapter 1 tells us Job's seven sons took turns holding huge parties. All the kids got together for extended periods of eating and drinking. When the parties were over Job would say to himself, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." So early in the morning, Job would sacrifice a burnt offering for each one of them, purifying them before the Lord. The scripture says, "This was Job's regular custom."

If there was a formula for protecting children, Job was working it faithfully. He did everything he could to ensure that they were in God's protective hands. It's safe to say that Job did his part to see that his kids were covered.

Then one day God uncovered them. He lifted the hedge of protection off of Job's wealth and his family. The chilling report came to Job from a servant who was on the scene: "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!" Job 1:18-19

How did this happen? There is no indication in scripture that Job skipped a day of sacrifice. As a matter of fact, the writer takes great pains to say Job feared God so much that he wouldn't miss an opportunity to serve as priest for his family. Job had done everything he could to cover his children, but they were uncovered.

In our context today, we would have to draw one of two conclusions: Either God failed or the formula failed. IT WASN'T GOD! Job's formula failed. He worked his plan faithfully and the plan didn't work. Why?

It's not about us! God's blessing is dependent upon God's grace, not our performance. If we only experienced the blessing of God when we were getting things right then it would be a payment earned, not a blessing received. Payments are tied to performance.

Am I doing enough to be blessed? Am I praying enough? Am I giving enough? Have I read my Bible enough? Those questions put all the focus on us, and take it off of God who wants our undivided attention. God wants us to focus more on Him than our performance.

Paul confronted the Galatians about this very thing saying, "Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?" You began in grace, proceed in grace!

I think we know this is true: God blesses according to His grace and plan--not our performance. The hard part is to acknowledge the caveat to be true as well. I have a hard time writing this, but we have to say that in His wisdom, goodness, mercy and justice God also witholds blessings. As Job put it, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away." There is no way around it. For reasons that we still don't understand, Job's kids were uncovered.

The good news and the bad news is this: God can bless us and use us at our best and our worst--a truth that is both liberating and terrifying.

So how do we respond? In all of our decisions, we follow His lead as spelled out in scripture. Our obedience will place us in a BLESSABLE POSITION. Having done our part, we then trust God with the rest.

Jackpot Jesus

Job is perhaps one of the most fascinating and challenging books in the Bible. To me, the difficulty lies in the fact that God does not offer easily accessed commentary on the philosophies presented by Job's so-called friends. Until the end of the book, we really don't know where God stands on their insensitive humanistic observations and even then we are left wanting, hoping that he would pick them apart one pitifully obtuse point at a time.

However, one thing we do understand from the very beginning is what God and Satan both think about Job. God thinks that Job is special. Indeed he says there is no one like him on the face of the earth, calling him a servant who is "blameless and upright"--pretty high praise from His Holiness.

Satan, on the other hand, is not drinking the Kool-Aid on Job. His belief is that anyone who hit the jackpot with God would be loyal. So he challenged God: "Does Job fear God for nothing?" In other words, anybody would do what Job was doing if they were getting paid. Everyone has their price and, by meeting his price, God ensured that Job would be on his best behavior. Satan hypothesized that if God stopped paying him, Job would go the way of the rest of creation, becoming a self-absorbed malcontent.

What about you?

Do you worship Jackpot Jesus? If things in your world went sour, would you sour on God?

What are we doing here?

I probably should have explained this before we got started, but I think you need to know what my goal is through The Connecting Point. It is to blog through the entire Bible. Our core conviction here at Skycrest is that the Bible contains the life transforming message of God. Therefore, we should read and heed its message. Each week I hope to write about some of the things that God is teaching me as I read through the Bible.

Early in my committed journey, I read a forgettable book that presented an unforgettable scenario.

The author led the reader to imagine their first discussion with God after moving on to heaven. I think the scene was a walk with God on the beach. In this discussion God asks the question, "What did you think about my book?" We are led through a compendium of possible responses ...

1. It was always with me--in the back of my car
2. It provided good decoration for my coffee table
3. I enjoyed the stories in Sunday School
4. The red writing was riveting
5. My mom sure seemed to enjoy it and get something out of it

I think the writer led God's discussion companion to go with, "I loved to hear and read about it from great teachers." God pointedly responds, "I want to know what you thought of it. I wrote it to you. Did you read it all the way through?"

At the time I read that book, my honest answer was no. I had not really read the Bible from cover to cover. I believed that it presented God's truth and wisdom. I believed to the core of my being, that as God's Word, it would be a dependable guide for the kind of life I desperately wanted to live. But the truth was, regardless of what I believed, I had not read His Word to me. So I resolved to read the Bible all the way through.

I chose to follow the plan laid out in the Ryrie Study Bible. It is basically a chronological journey through the Bible that puts events together. For example, when you read about Jesus feeding the 5,000, you read all four corresponding accounts on the same day. So with this plan, you don't read straight through from Genesis to Revelation, you jump around, generally reading the story of God as it occurred in real time.

As I blog through the Bible, I am using this same plan. So if you are following closely and you wonder why I jump from Genesis to Job, that's the reason.

I am already behind on getting through it in a year, but that is not the most important thing. What really matters is that when you read scripture you slow down long enough to hear from God. Life is not a series of to-do lists for God, it is a journey with God.

Tomorrow I hope to begin writing about God's servant Job. I have to admit that Job is one of the books that gives me fits. Not a lot of confidence going in, but a whole lot of dependence upon God for understanding. So I think it is safe to say that I am right where I need to be.

Question for you: Are you prepared for that walk on the beach with God? What would you say to him about his book?

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:1-3

"The Softest Pillow is a Clear Conscience"

I attend a men's small group on Wednesday mornings that has been reading a book by Bill George titled, "True North." It is a book that helps leaders discover who they are and then motivates them to leverage their strengths for their cause. Of the many great lessons in the book, the one that stands out most poignantly to me came from the founder and former CEO of Infosys, Narayana Murthy.

Founding the company in India, the Infosys team was pressed to take shortcuts because of widespread corruption. But their dream was to "demonstrate that you could run a business in India without corruption and create wealth, legally and ethically." So they did it the right way and achieved their dreams.

In explaining what drove them to play by the rules, Murthy said, "We always believed that the softest pillow was a clear conscience." That's great a lesson to learn and an even greater one to live by.

I couldn't help but think of Murthy's observation as I read the account of Jacob's sleeplessness in Genesis 32.

A little background...
Jacob and Esau were twins born to Isaac and Rebekah. Esau, the oldest, was a powerful man of the outdoors, a master grill-smith, and the favorite of his father who just happened to love barbecue. Jacob, on the other hand, was more of a momma's boy.

As the oldest, Esau was in line for most of the family's estate as well as his father's blessing. Through a series of events that Jerry Springer wouldn't believe, Jacob ended up with Esau's birthright and his father's blessing. To save his hide, Jacob skipped town and was gone for 20 years.

In Genesis 32, we find Jacob and his guilt-stained conscience coming home to face the music. Needless to say, the night before the confrontation with Esau was a sleepless one. He actually spent the entire night wrestling with God in an effort to secure God's blessing and divine protection from his brother.

The remarkable part of the story is that as Jacob faced death, he got his priorities straight. He made a commitment to God and essentially offered his entire estate to Esau in hopes that he would be forgiven and allowed to live.

The irony is that what Jacob offered in exchange for his life was what he had stolen from his brother years before. All the things that he wanted so desperately, he now despised. He would obviously do anything in his power for an opportunity to start over. He learned what Murthy knew all along, it is better to have a clear conscience and good sleep than to take short cuts to achieve your goals.

Proverbs 3:21-24
21 My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; 22 they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. 23 Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; 24 when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

How soft is your pillow? How sweet is your sleep?